Why I Work With Parents…Not Kids
When people first hear that I don’t work directly with children anymore, they often look surprised. After all, I spent decades in classrooms and intervention programs, guiding children with some of the most complex behaviours. But here’s what I learned: real change doesn’t happen in the one hour a week a child spends with a professional, it happens in the everyday moments at home.
I’ve sat in countless therapy sessions where a professional sees a child once a week, maybe once a fortnight. A few games are played, a few strategies trialled, and then the session is over. The problem? Parents often leave without clarity about what to do next. They aren’t given tools, and no-one helps them translate that session into daily life. The opportunity for consistent learning is lost.
Meanwhile, I’ve seen the opposite. When a service provider sat down with me, not just to “do” the session, but to explain the thinking and show me the strategies, I could carry those strategies forward. Not only for one child, but for every student with similar needs I supported afterwards. That kind of knowledge transfer is powerful. It multiplies impact.
That’s why I shifted my focus. Parents are the most under-utilised resource in a child’s support system. They are there every day. They see the behaviours in real time. They can reinforce strategies in the morning rush, at the dinner table, at bedtime. And when parents have clarity and confidence, children experience daily consistency, which is the foundation for behaviour change.
Think about it: schools encourage parents to practice reading with their kids every day. But how that looks varies wildly between homes. In one family, reading is cherished, calm, and connective. In another, it becomes a battle; homework, a chore, something both parent and child dread. Children absorb this energy. The same principle applies to behaviour. If strategies are only used once a week in a session, progress stalls. If they are woven into everyday life, progress compounds.
I know families are exhausted. Many have already cycled through “experts,” hoping someone will “fix” things. But I don’t believe in parachuting in with quick fixes. I believe in equipping parents with tools, frameworks, and confidence so they can become the consistent, calm presence their child needs. My role is to make sure parents don’t just survive the daily challenges, but feel capable of shaping lasting change.
This isn’t just about saving money (though let’s be honest…wasted therapy sessions add up). It’s about long-term sustainability. NDIS funding might run out. Therapists might move on. But parents remain. When they are empowered with strategies that actually work in their unique family, everything connects: clarity, consistency, and calm.
This is the reason my work is parent-first. Because when parents thrive in their role, children thrive too.
